There Are More Food Choices Than Political Choices AND That’s Wrong!

whats your choice question handwritten on the school blackboard

Time once again to feed my soul and feed is actually a good word for this one.

Just in case you hadn’t noticed the constant bombardment of every media type with why your candidate sucks or is sick or won’t tell us that they are sick and how famous the doctor is that doesn’t really tell you anything that the candidate didn’t want said (is that diagnosis taught in med school?) and don’t forget what he said and she said, what the IRS knows, what the FBI or the DOJ doesn’t see or speak no evil, all wrapped up in a cute little sound bite perfectly timed for the opening credits…pause for effect…we are in an election year.

You also know it’s an election year because someone went out and bought a brand new box of crayolas and colored in the map of the United States of America (yes we are the United States of America more on that in a bit) but they only used 2 colors and I remember amber waves and purple mountains, not sure what color fruited plains are but I know my wife can tell me, plus spacious skies and shiny seas must have a color too and if you go further in that song you find out that “Thine alabaster cities gleam…” (the internet has more than cat videos, search different things and you learn different stuff)

So basically we are getting jipped on the amount of colors that are being applied to a presidential election, and that’s not all we are getting jipped on.

First let me say, I AM NOT telling you or trying to tell you who to vote for, but if your decision comes down to “I have to vote for one of the major party candidates because they are the only ones with a chance of winning” then youre ripping yourself off.

You have a vote just for that reason, you get to pick WHO YOU WANT, not who some radio or TV person told you to pick or if you pick a “third party candidate” (by the way doesn’t that expression kind of sound like third world, which means it’s not as good as the first or second world, although I don’t know who the second world is because we don’t get news coverage from 2nd world countries, maybe they aren’t as poor or war ravaged as 3rd world countries so it doesn’t play as well) but if you pick a 3rd party candidate then your Uncle Ernie will tell you “That’s just a vote for (fill in Uncle Ernie‘s least favorite person today)”.

The truth is, it was a vote for who you wanted to vote for and you get to do that, besides Uncle Ernie drinks the wrong beer, cheers for the wrong football team and hasn’t matched his socks in years and most of the time he wears white so why am I taking life lessons from this guy anyway?

What they give us is 2 major parties and…(dun dun dun! That’s dramatic music to let you know something crazy and weird is coming)…those other people that are crazy radical fringe people who don’t even get a televised national convention on C-Span (do they still have C-Span?) They should put them on one of the nostalgia channels right after an episode of the old Superman TV show and call it the True Justice and American Way Hour (I say the nostalgia channels because apparently some channels feel that there are still episodes of Seinfeld and Friends that everyone hasn’t seen…for the 10th time)

In other words you get the 2 major parties (that also get to make the rules on who is on the nationally televised presidential and vice-presidential debates, look up Commission on Presidential Debates, see more than just cat videos on the internet) and that means we have more food choices in this country than political choices.

I’m not trying to make a joke here (OK maybe a little, can’t help it I’m just a smart ass). We do have more food choices than political choices and that’s wrong. Where does food come from? Your upbringing, your culture and the cultures that you touch through friendships and not just pictures of food on social media. All of that made you the person that you are today.

In almost any city in America you can get Chinese, Italian, Greek, Indian, Japanese, Mexican, Thai, Hungarian, German, Russian, French and I’ve only covered one square block in New York City. Don’t forget about Gumbo and Shrimp from the Gulf Coast, Maine Lobster, Texas Chili, NY Pizza, Chicago Pizza, Detroit Pizza, California Pizza (can you tell I like pizza) Hot Dogs, Hamburgers, Steaks, Reuben sandwiches, Subs or do I mean Hoagies or do I mean Grinders and does that include Chicago Dogs and Philly Cheese Steak?

See what I mean? With so many different food choices and in other words so many different cultures and so many different childhoods and the friends that were part of them, how did we end up with only 2 political choices? That’s like saying you can have cheese pizza or pepperoni pizza, but that’s it. Screw you, sometimes I want Canadian Bacon even if it is just ham and don’t get me started on the green peppers, mushrooms and yes sometimes I want pineapple.

I understand that there are now and have been over the years many political parties in the United States. I always get a kick out of the fact that Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were elected as Democratic-Republicans, I think if you told some people that they could vote Democratic-Republican today, their head would explode. You wouldn’t know we have many political parties today if you went by media coverage or a simple discussion of politics (OK that’s never simple but as close as we could hope for).

The only focus is on the elephant or the donkey. This year I will give a few props to some networks who are mentioning, usually in ten words or less, that there are other candidates. They mention it by saying this candidate has 13% and that one has 4%, they even show their pictures on TV and everything! Sometimes they even talk to them, for a fraction of the time they spend on the majors of course. Makes you wonder if there was half as much focus on one of those candidates as there is on just the sound bites of the 2 major candidates or sound bites/tweets about them, we might be able to push those numbers all the way up to 14% and 5%.

Like I said before I’m not trying to tell you who to vote for, but do you even know what political parties they are with and that they are on the ballot in enough states that they could win in the electoral college?

Do you ever find yourself thinking things could be better? In other words, like the 2 major parties are fond of saying, “Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?” How about 8 yrs, 12, 20, 40…

Going back to that political discussion that’s never simple, it would be if only we had the Double Standard Party, where if my candidate does it, it’s for a good and just reason and if yours does it, it’s because they have something to hide.

Wait we do have that Happy Days Are Here Again!

That political discussion does include the conservative or liberal basically saying if the liberal or conservative would just shut up and go away everything would be perfect. Don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen either side boarding that shuttle for “Get The Hell Out of Dodge” lately so I guess everyone is staying and therefore should try and figure out how to live with each other. I know that seems like a really hard math problem, but remember you can still copy off the smart kid next to you.

The more important thing is we are the United States of America and that includes more than one solution, point of view and ice cream flavor.

I don’t want just 2 choices on the menu.

I want Steak Goulash Gumbo Pasta Fagioli Chicken Teriyaki Masala Tandoori Pierogi Borscht Tacos on a bun with onions and peppers and shrimp and Arni Souvlakia with Fish and Chips on the side plus Hot Wings and Nachos!

This time my soul feels better and so does my stomach.

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